Hold Me
by jazzprincess
Summary: Set two weeks after 'Strange Bedfellows'. What happens when Neela receives some shocking news? Who will be there to help her? Reela, naturally!
1. Tension

**This is my first ER fic! Please R&R and tell me how I did.**

**Neela and Ray pairing, set two weeks after _'Strange Bedfellows'_**

**Disclaimer: Yeah right! I wish.**

Neela walked into County. It had been two weeks since she had moved out of her and Ray's apartment. She had successfully avoided him at work, but how long could she keep that up? They had been working different shifts recently, but now she was on during the day again.

Neela got her patients' charts, all the while keeping an eye out for Ray. She hadn't seen him yet, but she knew he was there.

Meanwhile Ray was taking care of a rebellious teenager, knowing that Neela would be getting on any minute. He shook his head, trying to concentrate on the task at hand, and hoped that he would be able to get through at least a few minutes before his mind strayed back to her again.

"GSW to the head coming in!" The EMT pushed through the door with an old man on a gurney. Ray ran over and helped wheel the patient into a trauma room.

Before he even saw the man, Ray knew he was going to need surgery. And Ray wanted to be working on him when the surgeon on-call came in.

"What have we got?" Neela asked, walking into Trauma 1. She stopped for a second when she noticed who was working on the gunshot victim.

Ray looked up; their eyes met for a moment. Neither moved until Luka started to talk to Neela about the patient. She snapped back into reality and started to work on the patient.

Ray watched her as she quickly assessed the man and began trying to save him. He knew that she knew he was looking at her. Every now and then she would glance up at him, but she never said anything. As soon as the man was ready to be transported to the OR, Neela slipped out of the room.

Ray stared after her. _Will we ever be able to talk again?_ He sighed and walked out to the admit desk, hoping the aching feeling would stop soon.

Neela walked outside and leaned against the wall. It was too hard to stay inside and see that look in Ray's eyes; she understood it too well.

"I love Michael," she whispered to herself. "He is my husband and I really do love him. I do – I love him!" _Then why does it hurt so much to look at Ray?_ Another part of her mind questioned. _Why is it so hard to go home and know that he is not going to be there, that we can't just relax and hang out together?_

She sighed and rubbed her head, trying to sort out all these confusing feelings. Wrapped up in her own thoughts, she closed her eyes, and didn't notice the two men walk into the ER.

**Please tell me what you think, but go easy. The second chapter will be going up later today or tomorrow, so hang in there. It'll get good then – this chapter was setting the scene.**


	2. Devastation

**Sorry I didn't get it out as quickly as I said I would; I underestimated how long my homework would take. Stupid school! Oh well, at least spring break will be here in a week. This chapter is longer, and all following will continue to get longer as they go, I promise! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, still nothing.**

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"May I help you?" Frank asked the two men who had just walked up to the admit desk.

"Yes we are looking for a Mrs. Gallant."

"Mrs. Gallant? Oh, you mean Neela – she just went outside. And by the way, she still goes by her maiden name, Rasgotra or something like that."

"Thank you." They both turned and walked back outside.

Ray came over right as they were leaving. "Hey Frank who was that?" He asked, glancing after them.

"Some men looking for Neela."

"Were they soldiers? Was Gallant with them?" Ray felt his heart sink; if Gallant came back now, the small glimmer of hope he had would vanish in a second.

"No, just two guys dressed in uniform. They wanted to talk to her about something, and it didn't look like they were bring good news." Frank said bluntly.

Ray stood, shocked. There was only one reason for an officer in uniform to show up looking for a soldier's wife.

"Oh man!" he whispered to himself. He dropped his charts onto the admit desk and ran towards the entrance. "I'll be right back Frank." He called over his shoulder.

Morris walked over. "Where's he running off to?"

Outside the two soldiers walked over to Neela, who was still leaning against the wall with her eyes closed.

"Dr. Rasgotra?" the one man asked.

Startled, Neela opened her eyes and stood up straight. "Um, yes. How may I help . . ." That's when she really looked at the two men in front of her; it hit her like a ton of bricks. Her hand went to her mouth the moment she heard the words – "I'm sorry . . ."

Neela heard them explain how there was an explosion where Michael was working. She heard them say that the doctors had done everything they could. She heard, but she wasn't really listening. She knew what they were saying; she herself had given the speech many times. It was said to a person about to be told that their loved one had died.

Neela shook her head, not wanting to really believe it. She covered her face with her hands, feeling herself start to slide down the wall, not quite able to absorb the news.

Ray ran outside in time to see her bury her face into her hands, her body shaking from her cries. He rushed over just as she started to go down, catching her as she fell to the ground. He sank down next to her, holding her tight as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"It can't be true Ray; he can't be dead!"

"Shh, it's OK." He hugged her close as she rocked back and forth. "It's gonna be OK." He looked up at the two officers, bowing their heads solemnly. "Thanks, I'll take it from here."

"Would she like to tell the rest of his family, or should we do it?" one asked.

Ray looked at Neela, weeping in his embrace. "No, I think it would be easier if you told them. I don't know if she's up for it right now, and they should know as soon as possible."

"Alright then. Again, we are very sorry for you loss." They both touched their hats before walking out to the street.

Neela sat with Ray holding her for a while before Morris finally came out looking for them.

"Oh, Neela. What happened?"

"She just got news about Gallant. There was an explosion or something, and there was nothing they could do." Ray replied for her, as she was still too shaken up to try and explain it.

"Oh man. I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, do me a favor and tell Luka what happened. I'm going to take her home. He'll understand."

"Do you know the way to Abby's place?" Morris questioned.

"We're not going to Abby's place." Ray replied, slowly starting to pick Neela up. "We're going home."

"Ok, I'll tell him. And I'll grab Neela's coat for you real quick."

"Great, thanks."

Ray had Neela on her feet now, with one of his arms around her waist for support. Morris brought the coat out, and Ray draped it over her shoulders.

"See you later."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Ray?" Neela, who hadn't said anything for a while, looked up at Ray. Her mascara was smeared with of her tears, and her eyes held a deep sorrow. Ray's heart ached to make her hurt go away. But still, behind that sadness was a look of trust and gratitude.

Neela looked into Ray's eyes and knew that, however horrible this was, he could help her through it. With him she was safe. She attempted a smile for him. "Thank you." She whispered.

He gave her a small smile back, full of understanding and comfort. "Lets get you home."

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**Thanks for reading! I promise they will get longer. This one was still kind of setting it up. We will be getting into the major 'Reela' in the next few chapters! I can't believe we have to wait two or three weeks for the next new one! Oh well. Please review, and thanks to all the great comments for the last chapter!**


	3. Comfort and Closure

**Now that spring break is here, I can finally get some work done! Thanks for all the great reviews so far.**

**Disclaimer: Sigh Sadly I still own nothing.**

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Neela was still slightly in shock. Every time she thought about it, her whole body shook; the reality of everything was overwhelming.

Ray's mind drifted as he slowly walked Neela home. He couldn't help but think, _Where does everything go from here?_ Truthfully, he didn't really know Gallant – he had only met him those few times he came back to visit. Therefore he couldn't reasonably hate him. But he had still resented the guy. After all, he came home and married Neela while making her believe he was there to stay. Then he decided to go back Iraq, leaving her here by herself, confused and angry as to why he had to leave. Ray couldn't forgive Gallant for that, even if he didn't really know him.

When they reached the apartment, Ray unlocked the door and helped Neela in. He was a little worried; she hadn't said anything since they had left the hospital.

Looking around, Ray realized that all of Neela's stuff had already been moved to Abby's. As Neela sat on the couch in a daze, Ray quickly dialed the hospital.

"County General, how may I help you?" Frank answered the phone.

"Hey Frank, it's Ray." He whispered, keeping an eye on Neela.

"Where the hell are you? Pratt's a fit to be tied trying to find you."

"Morris already told Luka; I needed to take Neela home. She just got news about Gallant." As he saw Neela drop her head into her hands again, he quickly said "Hey would you just ask Abby if she could have someone bring Neela's stuff back from her place?"

"Oh I see. Nice timing man. But sure I'll tell her." Ray shook his head as Frank hung up. He didn't have time to ponder his colleagues' ridiculous notions. He noticed that Neela was shivering. Ray quickly made her a cup of her favorite tea, which was still in the cupboard, with a little splash of milk just how she liked it.

Ray walked over to where Neela still sat and placed the hot mug into her hands. "Here," he said quietly. She shakily took a few sips, sighing as the warmth flooded her body. The aching feel started to subside under its tranquility.

"How are you feeling?" He had expected to find her crying, but when she looked up her face was dry. "Are you OK?" he questioned.

"Yeah, I think I'm alright." She had an almost bewildered expression. This confused Ray even more. "It's just hard to digest all this, you know? I mean, I knew he was over in the war. But I guess because he was a doctor, and not actually fighting, I assumed he would be alright."

She looked at Ray, eyes wide and mouth open, the tea forgotten for the time being. "I . . . I don't know what I should be feeling now. Sadness? Regret over how little time we spent together? Anger because he chose to go back rather than stay with me? _Relief!_" She whispered the last word so softly, Ray wasn't quite sure that she even said it.

Neela shook her head and a single tear ran down her cheek. The sobbing and hysteria had passed; all that was left was genuine remorse.

Ray once again wrapped his arms around her. Neela leaned into him with a sigh, grateful for his strong and unwavering comfort.

"What do I do now Ray?" she whispered. "What's supposed to happen after this?"

"It doesn't matter right now. Everything can be figured out later. What you need to do now is to help yourself calm down and let yourself grieve. That's all that can be done in a situation like this. You need to take time for yourself. Leave all the rest for tomorrow."

Neela sighed deeply and closed her eyes, whispering, "Thank you." Ray leaned back and shut his eyes also. Within two minutes they were both sound asleep.

Ray woke up some time in the late evening. Confused for a second as to where he was and why he was asleep at eight, he looked down to find Neela lying on top of him. His left arm was draped around her, and both her hands rested on his chest. Suddenly he remembered what had happened.

Once again he wondered about their 'situation', if he could call it that. Ray wasn't happy that Gallant had died, but his death changed things. Ray would make sure Neela moved back in with him; he wouldn't leave her alone at a time like this.

But where would they go from there? Ray felt that he had ignored his feelings too long already. He had been silent about his feelings when he first realized, and she had married Gallant. Then he finally began to grow closer to her without overstepping the line, but she got scared and moved out. He knew why she was scared – she felt the same way about him and the idea frightened her. He had seen it in her eyes when she left.

Ray shook his head, remembering how close he had come to kissing her, to finally admitting how he felt. But he didn't do it. Ray knew that Neela wasn't the type of person who would cheat on her husband. So he had said the next best thing, telling her that she was the best friend he had ever had. And he meant it.

Ray looked down at Neela. She seemed so peaceful now that she was sleeping. He smiled to himself. What ever the future might hold, he could handle it. He would give her time, be the supportive friend. Then, when the time was right, he would tell her.

Ray pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, moving as little as possible so as not to wake Neela. Then he carefully placed it over both of them, making sure she was warm enough. Neela responded by sighing deeply and snuggling closer to Ray. He once again draped his arm protectively around her, holding her close. Ray fell back asleep, slowly rubbing Neela's back as he drifted off.

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Early the next morning, Neela awoke to find herself lying on top of Ray. He was half propped up on the arm of the couch and his one hand rested on her back. She also noticed that the blanket now covered her. She smiled slightly, realizing that Ray must have done that some time while she was asleep.

_He can be so sweet!_ She thought as she lay there looking at him. A part of her mind was saying that she should push away her feelings about Ray for a little while, that it was to soon after Michael's death – but it wasn't a very large part.

Neela thought back to the night before when she was talking about her feelings. She really did care for Michael, but after he went back to Iraq she couldn't help but wonder if their marriage was too sudden. As often as they wrote back and forth, they still didn't know each other as much as Neela would have liked.

_I know Ray better than I know my own husband._ That knowledge made Neela feel a little guilty. But it also gave her an odd sense of closure. _Michael and I had a good relationship, while we actually had one. _But now she could move on, knowing that they had loved each other for that small time they had together. Now she needed to focus on herself, on her work, and on her growing emotions she was feeling for a certain roommate that she was currently smiling at.

At that moment a cloud moved and the light from their window poured in onto Ray's sleeping face. He scrunched up his eyes for a second before opening them, to see Neela starring at him with her chin resting on his chest.

He smiled back at her. "Hey" he whispered.

"Hey yourself."

"How you feeling?"

"Much better. Thank you for being so supportive last night."

"No problem; I'm there for you anytime you may need me."

"Really!" Neela grinned at him.

"Of course!" he replied sarcastically, glad that he was able to make her smile. "Although, there may be some time conflicts around holidays; I can't guarantee Thanksgiving. But come Christmas time I'm all yours!"

Neela burst out laughing and Ray couldn't help but laugh along with her. He grabbed her in a hug as she fell back on top of him.

Ray started to tickle Neela, saying, "Ok, come on. Let's go – time for work!" Neela screamed as she jumped off the couch.

"Hey no fair!" she said, still grinning from ear to ear. "I can't fight back when you do that – you're not ticklish!"

"Then you better go and get ready. Weaver's going to be upset enough as it is after I left with you yesterday. We shouldn't tempt our luck by showing up late today on top of that."

"Well how about that." Neela teased. "You're telling me to hurry up and get ready for once; I never thought I'd see the day." But she did as she was told, walking back to her room. Ray smiled and started to turn to get dressed himself.

"Ray?" He turned back around to see Neela coming back into the room. "We have a problem."

"What?" he asked concernedly.

"I don't have anything to wear!"

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**Next chapter we will see Neela and Ray bonding even more both at work and at home. Stay tuned and please review!**


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